The Question
“So tell me, Randy—at what point in bouncing from ‘ex-gay’ executive to super-gay memoirist did you realize you could monetize the trauma and the glitter, or was that the plan all along?”–Mr. Angry Man
Here’s the truth…
Honestly? There was never a ‘monetize the trauma and glitter’ business plan. I wrote a memoir because surviving abuse, ex-gay ideology, and my own self-hate left me with two options: stay silent and let that harm keep echoing or tell the truth in a way that might help someone else crawl out. The fact that my story now lends its voice in a really public way from time to time doesn’t cheapen the pain; it proves I made it out and am using it for something other than more damage.
Also, I’m naming and owning the fact that my life did not neatly pivot from tragedy to being a healthy, content, gay man. It moved from chaos, shame, and manipulation into a long, messy, ongoing process of healing and transparency. Writing about conversion therapy, abuse, and self-erasure is not an easy or cute way to pay the bills; it’s revisiting some of the hardest rooms in my history so that the people still trapped in them know there’s a door. Every page in my memoir becomes a place where I can tell the truth without the spin, doctrine, or PR gloss that once shaped my life for other people’s comfort.
So, Listen Mr. Angry Man
You don’t have to like what I do—but I’m at peace with why I’m doing it. Thanks for taking the time to send me your question.
Do you have a question for the Ask It Basket? Nothing is off the table.
