Going From 24 Years Of Celibacy To Being Sexually Active (and really liking it) Gay Man

While the following is not p*rn, not even close, it is spicy.

Even until a few years ago, I had a LOT of fears I didn’t know about. A lot of hangups. And today, the journey is still unfolding. I am enjoying each step and each experience along the way.

I Was, And Still Am, A Weird Date

In my coming out post published on January 12th, 2015, I wrote straight out of my big gay heart. I had the urge to reread it the other day, and while a lot stood out to me, this made me laugh:

Currently I am not dating. I have not been dating. I have not had a sexual partner in 24 years. I am in no hurry to change that reality. Plus, I have no doubt I would probably be a weird date ::: grin ::: I mean seriously, how do you explain all … this? Being single has been a life-giving state of being for me and my place in community. I am content. Today as a single gay man, I am relationally whole, and at peace. There is love in my life; God, friends, family, work … I’m in a good place.

What I didn’t say is that while I was celibate for 24 years, I was really good at “self-care” if you know what I mean. But it is true that for that 24 years I didn’t have sex with another person and had looked at porn maybe a handful of times. After looking at porn images/videos, I was racked with guilt for weeks afterward (all true).

A Peaceful Disclosure – I Am Gay

And while I was in no hurry to have sex when I published this, I was totally fooling around a guy within three months and doing the horizontal tango with my first boyfriend within 5 months.

You want to know the strange (to me) part? It was a whole heckuva lot of fun! If you happened to be a creeper who snuck into my house to take notes outside my bedroom door, you would also hear me say a few times, “I had no idea you could do that! Woohooo! Do it again!”

The second funny thing is, I felt free and joyful; not racked with guilt or shame.