How a Dramahuahua, Shared Grief, and Chosen Family Saved My Holiday Joy
This post is kinda great in its simplicity and humor. :)
“Intentional gratefulness is the active, conscious practice of seeking out and appreciating the good in your life, rather than passively waiting for it, helping to retrain your brain’s negativity bias, boost happiness, build resilience, and foster a more positive outlook through habits like journaling, expressing thanks to others, and mindful reflection. It’s about making gratitude a deliberate daily ritual, shifting focus from what’s lacking to the blessings already present, big or small, to improve well-being.” The Googles got this one right.”
Baby Eli is now Li’l O’l Man Eli the Dramahuahua
Baby Eli has officially retired his “tiny baby” era and is now Li’l O’l Man Eli the Dramahuahua, complete with the emotional range of a telenovela star and the jaw strength of a paper shredder. He is somehow both my emotional support menace and my favorite tiny chaos muppet, reminding me daily that love can be ridiculous, painful (thumb scars don’t lie), and still absolutely worth it.
I am intentionally grateful to be his second favorite person. LOL
No, you can’t have my joy to trample on…
Like clockwork, some current exgay (conversion therapy disguised as a support group) leaders are ironically “seizing this current moment” by asking for money at the same time of year, saying the exact same things, and trying to scare their base supporter into giving even more than usual to start off 2026 with a big 2025 year-end bonus.
I also saw someone who said she was facing the same threats to her safety that Charlie Kirk faced when he was murdered.
Girl, please; people aren’t thinking about you as much as you think they do.
I thought I was going to write a post exposing/mentioning their lies and manipulations, but then I realized (again) that I can be intentionally grateful that I don’t have to engage in that easy-to-see-through f**kery on a detailed level and move on.
So I practiced intentional gratitude for the option that I don’t have to take their bait, don’t have to let them negatively affect my holiday joy, and walked away to watch Christmas Vacation for the 1,714th time. Oh, and I am grateful that the cat and squirrel scenes STILL make me laugh till I cry.
Wait, where did Thanksgiving go?
I had a really good Thanksgiving with lots of food, fun, and love. No, not everything was picturesque because we lost two incredible loved ones way too soon this year. That said, I am grateful for the love and now long history I have with the people (chosen family) we broke bread with.
Love helps make holidays memorable, but it also makes them go by too fast.
To Conclude…
In the end, that’s what this season looks like for me: a slightly unhinged Dramahuahua plotting his next thumb attack, grief sitting beside gratitude at the table, and chosen family laughing so hard at ridiculous movies that we forget—just for a minute—how heavy the world can be. I may not be able to stop the fear‑mongers from doing their tired song and dance, but I can absolutely refuse to give them front‑row seats in my head when there’s so much real love, messy joy, and Eli-fueled chaos to enjoy instead.
More about Randy…
Hey Randy, you know I’m finally understanding that straight people particularly straight Evangelicals with a capital E don’t have a clue about God and His immeasurable love , mercy and grace expressed through Christ. . For over four decades, I have believed the lies they do. God created sex and our body’s responses to that creation. Sex is not the problem. It’s our ingratitude.to the One who made it along with everything else we see in this world. You, Dan, and myself along with many other Christ followers believed what we were told because we thought they knew better than we did.
But they don’t…. It’s never been about us, and our performance but has always been about His and our willingness to accept Him and trust Him with our lives. Jesus was countercultural and we are to be the same. I know I have way underestimated thankfulness and what it can really do for us, especially gratitude to the One who knows us better than anyone else.
Love ya , dude! We may not agree on everything, but we’re both still learning : )