How Did You Get Anne Heche To Write The Foreword To Your Memoir?

Through a series of connections this is a true example of synchronicity.

Nancy

I met Nancy Heche back in my ex-gay days. We were in a lot of green rooms together at conferences promoting conversion therapy and the toxic theology behind it. I liked Nancy. She had some complaints from the attendees of being a little too involved with some of the struggling lesbians at these conferences in an unwanted counseling kind of thing, but I never saw her act like a zealot or anything.

Before Anne’s passing, Nancy had spoken at a national conversion therapy conference for RHN. Don’t know if she is still on the ex-gay conference speaking circuit. I hope not.

After seeing her five or six times a year in the 2000s I haven’t talked to her in almost 20 years.

Anne

The moment I met Nancy, I knew someday I would meet Anne. I just knew it. Had no reason to know it. Had no agenda. I just knew that somehow, somehow, I was going to meet her. I didn’t even try to reach out to Anne because I was *that* confident it would happen and really had no reason to.

Now when I did finally meet Anne, I had no idea I would be out, proud, denouncing conversion therapy, and promoting the Emmy nominated documentary I was in (Pray Away) when I would meet her… but, there it is.

My friend Carrie knew Anne and Heather with the Podcast at the time “Better Together With Anne & Heather” and recommended they invite me on. I went on and had a fantastic conversation. If interested, the video of that conversation is below (Thomas is my “maiden” name :)).

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Life After "Pray Away"

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The Ask

So, during my interview on Anne & Heather’s podcast, I was working on a super rough draft of my memoir, WHY, and I was on the hunt for a publisher. I asked Heather (and a few other folks) if she had any recommendations, and that’s how I ended up with IOM.

But here’s the thing, while I was searching for a publisher, and because of the amazing conversation we had, I asked Anne if she’d be willing to write the foreword. I sent her an email, expecting a polite but firm “No, sorry, but I can’t do that right now” response. I almost didn’t send it because, let’s face it, Anne Heche is a global superstar! But I knew if I didn’t ask, I’d regret it forever. So, I sent it anyway.

And guess what? An hour and a half later, Heather emailed me back and said Anne would LOVE to write the foreword to my memoir! Anne sent it to me about six weeks before she passed.

When she said yes, I was completely blown away!

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Happy 56th Birthday and WHY Book Launch Day!

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Anne’s transition

As most already know, Anne passed in August of 2022. It was heartbreaking and tragic. As far as I know her contribution to WHY is one of the last things she wrote. I am glad to have known her in this realm for that brief amount of time. She is a good person and I honor her courage and contribution of joy into our world.

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