Jayson Graves: When Accountability Came Calling, Nobody Answered

Jason is another example of why conversion therapists are dangerous...

A little while ago, I wrote about how Stephen Black leaving First Stone Ministries revealed common dysfunctions that are inherent to ex-gay conversion ministries. Ex-gay leaders, in general, have dysfunctional motivations and approaches. They are unqualified to provide any counsel, much less run ministries. Also, many (not all) use verbal intimidation/manipulation/bullying. However, they all tend to be masters of obfuscation to protect the cultish ideology that empowers the ex-gay worldview. Also, most have no accountability within their organizations, the church, or the government.

Now, Jayson Graves seems to have become another public example of these dynamics on the professional therapy side of the conversion therapy world. I knew him when he was on the Exodus Professional Counselors referral list.

All these years later, It seems he fled Colorado as a result of a sexual assault allegation by one of his clients and found sanctuary in the same area of Arizona as a man (Pilcher) who is a convicted sex offender (public indecency with a minor). Both participate in “life coaching” young people about their lives and sexuality. Pilcher says he doesn’t know Graves.

Graves was stripped of his counseling license in Colorado when he chose to leave the state instead of defending himself against sexual assault allegations. It is odd that if he didn’t sexually assault his client, he would just give up and flee instead of mounting a more vigorous defense when given the chance.

What I have shared here is just a small bit of info compared to the allegations/details in the TWO (Truth Wins Out) article. If you are interested to know more, read the whole article here. I have often said, and still believe, that the people who need psychological help the most are professional counselors.

I was also quoted about my opinion of Jayson:

“In my experience, he sent mixed signals when he wasn’t a condescending prima-donna,” Scobey said in our interview. “Jayson is handsome and knows it. He was often flirty and charming and gave off a very sensual vibe. Usually, that would be fine when you don’t live in a cult-like atmosphere. But in that [ex-gay] world, at that time, his demeanor and approach would cause some to stumble into temptation. In other words, to sexualize him in their thoughts. And I do not doubt he secretly enjoyed turning others on and getting that kind of attention.

Honestly, the Jayson I remember was very handsome, and he did know how to leverage it to get what he wanted. I fully expected Jason to disappear for a while and then come out as the gay man he is with great fanfare in a place like WeHo (West Hollywood) on the arm of a sugar daddy or something. Because he is strong-willed, I am surprised he didn’t fight for his license in Colorado.

I plead with any ex-gay leader or conversion therapist to rethink what they are doing and stop. If you are gay, whether you come out or not may be a question for another day. But you can prevent the abuse you know in your heart is being done in the name of counseling, ministry, or life coaching. “Freedom in Christ” means living your life in the Spirit as you see fit and appropriate. It’s not your job to define right and wrong for someone else.

In my opinion, what you are doing is not a calling; it’s a cult.

Please, stop the harm.

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