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I survived abuse only to live a lie before learning to thrive as my true self. My memoir, WHY, is due to be published in Winter 2023.

Jeffrey McCall comes out of the closet as Scarlett McCall

Welcome. Nice to meet you Scarlett...

Randy Scobey

Apr 12, 2023

On Easter, Jeffrey McCall (now former ex-gay leader of the Freedom March) came out as who she truly is as Scarlett McCall. She lived as Scarlett before getting lured into the ex-gay world. However, she was heavily involved in rallying support for ex-gay ideology and its pastoral form of conversion therapy (ex-gay ministry).

Jeffrey was also the ex-gay leader in the film Pray Away I and others appear as former ex-gay leaders.

I am always glad to see ex-gay leaders and survivors step out of the closet, affirming themselves for who they are; for taking the first step toward discovering who they are. Authenticity begins when we walk out of the closet door. Doing so takes a lot of courage, and I commend her.

It breaks my heart to read the comments on Scarlett’s posts. Most absolutely ignore her personhood and disrespect her. The vitriol reminds me of the pure religious stigma thrown my way when I came out. I hope she isn’t reading the comments and pressing forward to do what she needs to protect herself so she can flourish.

Many will have a long list of things she needs to justify, apologize for, and yadda yadda yadda. I would encourage Scarlett not to listen to the haters now. In time she will know what she needs to say or do concerning her life as Jeffrey. Opportunities for amends and growth will become apparent when she is ready.

Scarlett, if by chance you read this. My door is always open. Let others grieve the loss of that momentary version of you. From experience, do not take their anger or dismissive remarks personally. It will be challenging, but standing firm and loving yourself is essential. The true friends will be with you and celebrate the reemergence of Scarlett. Other true friends may not understand but will operate in unconditional love to learn more about and respect you.

Scarlett, without any pressure, please stand firm and develop an affirming support system to help encourage and empower you further. I am not anyone to you; it is none of my business what you determine is best for your life. However, in my experience and watching others go through the same thing, developing that affirming support system may need to be your top priority.

Hang in there. You are going to flourish on this side of the closet door.