Keeping An Eye On The Ex-Gay World

The average person knows conversion therapy is still practiced, but they don’t realize its scope has expanded. I have a renewed vision to help the effort to end conversion therapy wherever possible.

The way out of the church closet isn’t always clear but don’t worry, there is a way out.

Really?

Yes, really. Some background…

I have been a part of two pivotal documentaries that expose conversion therapy for the evil it is: For They Know Not What They Do and Emmy nominated Pray Away. I have written a memoir titled WHY with the foreword written by Ann Heche just before she passed. I have done quite a few interviews, speaking engagements, and private conversations on the topic of healing from and stopping conversion therapy. It’s been 10 years since I came out of the church closet and 12 years since helping to shut down Exodus, which is still the best and worst day of my life.

In this time of life, I have worked through a lot of rage, anger, and resenting the time lost and PTSD gained (truly diagnosed with it by a psychologist). In times past, you can see the very deep anger from some older posts; many of which I eventually deleted.

So, now that I am fully on the record, repeatedly, can I now run for the hills and never talk about conversion therapy and the cult of ex-gay ideology again? I sure could. And almost all former ex-gay leaders have, so why not? I know who I am. I am content in most areas of life :). I don’t need to be in this arena anymore; I can close this door… right?

Yes, I could. I have every right to. But I won’t.

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Two Ex-Gay Leaders: One Meddling In Exporting Conversion Therapy & The Other Suing Silicon Valley

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WHY? Glad you asked…

Now that I feel confident enough to walk away, the choice to stay in this particular advocacy realm comes from a place of strength, not reaction. I don’t feel an obligation to do this; I genuinely want to continue to advocate for LGBTQ+ people to escape conversion therapy so they may thrive as healthy and whole people; people who are free and equal to determine their own course through life. People free of religious stigma/cultural gaslighting.

Also, the times are dark and the gathering clouds are ready to send a maelstrom of actions against LGBTQ+ people. I am seeing ex-gay leaders and orgs lining up to take advantage of these opportunities of putting a smiling face in the name of love on efforts that only empowers political, social, cultural, and religious stigma against our community. One front of attack from them will be to overturn conversion therapy bans set in place to protect LGBTQ+ youth.

So absolutely no, no I can’t walk away.

Lastly, when I was given a list of active ex-gay ministries and ex-gay advocates, I was truly shocked. Yes, there are a couple of small networks that rose up out of the ashes of Exodus, but that is nothing compared to the myriad of other conversion therapy iterations that have manifested. Plus, there are ones that are making a sh*t ton of money at the expense of LGBTQ+ pain, hurt, and confusion; all of which is manufactured, not true.

To clarify, while there are individuals in this field who genuinely engage in deceptive practices and exploit others for financial gain, the majority of these leaders are sincere believers, as I was. They have become so convinced of their own beliefs that they perceive lying to others as a form of truth. For them, earning money through ministry is considered God’s will to sustain their efforts, rather than being funded by institutionalized prejudice.

Being LGBTQ+ is not “brokenness” or out of God’s will. Being LGBTQ+ is just one of the many gifts a person might receive in this life. It should only be affirmed. Where dysfunction exists, you know, because we are all human, we can handle it just like everyone else without the awful false accusations and disenfranchisement clouding our ability to do so.

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As LGBTQ+ Persecution Rises, Changing Hearts & Minds Needs To Be More Than A Slogan

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What is this going to look like?

I will be monitoring a pretty long list of organizations and individuals representing a wide range of how ex-gay ideology is seeking to be instilled in all aspects of Christian nationalism. This will lead to writing articles here and possibly for other organizations helping to lead the fight against conversion therapy. I might even do some videos as well.

Nowadays, no one has confidence in the mainstream media, and I really doubt they will report this topic at all, and if they do, it may not be helpful. So I feel the need to do my part in filling the void with accurate insights and reporting (if you will, lol) about these efforts.

This Substack will continue to be my creative place as well. I love writing and communicating, so there will continue to be posts about other topics of interest and fun.

On that note, I’d love for you to join the Thrive chat. It’s a great place to connect with others who are on a similar journey. Also, feel free to like, comment, and share our posts. Thrive also has a subscription option if you’d like to support our mission. Together, we can create a safe and supportive space for people to find their way out of conversion therapy. Let’s do this!

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