Sexplorer Saturday–Apparently I Was An Adorably Clueless Daddy

When I went to my first Gay Days bear party, let's just say I was an over dressed bundle of nerves.

Attending that bear pool party showed me what genuine self-acceptance and unfiltered joy could look like, even as I clung to my pleated khakis and trusty computer bag for comfort. Surrounded by men who celebrated themselves and each other without a hint of self-consciousness, I realized just how liberating it can be to let go of worry and simply be present in the moment.

Bears run in packs?…

It took about a year and a half after coming out in 2015 before I would attend gay days, which is the first weekend in June, and my first pride was in Orlando in November 2016. I was there to volunteer for the HRC booth. A friend of mine was down from Chicago, and he texted the night before saying, “Randy! Tomorrow come meet me at this great party. You need to come jump in the pool where the bears are throwing a party; they are more fun than the other pool parties going on at that time.”

My response was “Bearrrs? Having a party?”

I had heard of bears before in two different contexts. First, the forest creature and second, as a gay male body/temperament kind of thing. I had no idea they ran in packs, much less packs that could fill a pool!

Then, when I was through volunteering at the booth, my Chicago friend and I made my way to the bear pool party, and let’s just say, I felt very conspicuous. These men were hootin’ and hollerin’, singing along with the songs, a couple making out, poolside appropriate drinks, and just having a great time.

Then here I am walking up to the pool …