The Queen of Wholesale Adult Sex Toys & Meeting A Pack Of Bears And The Lesbian At The LGBTQ+ Mixer
Our last cruise to the Eastern Caribbean gave us the opportunity to meet some wonderful, colorful, beautiful, people
“You need to meet my boy. He wears a lot of Robert Graham, too.”–The Queen of Wholesale Adult Sex Toys
The Best Greeting Exchange I Have Ever Had…
I walked right up to this man and his husband and said with a smile but harsh vocal tone, “Now, listen! We are NOT going to both be wearing Robert Graham on the same boat tonight, so just march back to your cabin and take it off!!”
The self-described Super-Dominant-Sadistic-Daddy, without missing a beat, said, “Listen, bitch, I saw the trash you’re wearing on the clearance rack; you go take that shit off.”
Because our first introduction was this catty and crass, I knew we would be best friends. When he described himself as the Super-Dominant-Sadistic-Daddy (SDSD)… that was informative and not what I am into, but again, so crass, and I loved it.
He did have a lovely physique though and his husband very handsome… Woof indeed.
Of course Dan enjoyed every moment. I loved being on his arm.
You Did … What?!
The SDSD’s Mom “The Queen” is the one who arranged our meeting with him, and we had dinner with them and three more of her friends from Toronto, Canada. The whole crew is from Toronto and are snowbirds to Florida each winter; and are quite the loud and fun crew. In addition to the Queen, SDSD and his husband, Kind Eyes the Sneaky Kisser, the crew consisted of Ms. Boobs McGee, Groovy and her magic bag of everything, and Groovy’s business partner … Marni (not her real name, and she looks like a Marni to me).
So we all went to dinner that night in the main dining area (very nice on the Celebrity Eclipse) and laughed through the whole meal. The Queen held court and said, “I used to have a successful women’s clothing store. I enjoyed it a lot. And a man I worked with to buy some of the garments asked, because I was so good at the backend deals, if I would be interested in helping with wholesaling adult sex toys. I said I would give it a chance and I did. I made a lot of money so I kept doing it for decades.”
Hard stop sounding like a scratched record.
The Queen is in her ‘80s, so hearing this lovely grandma-type figure talk about building an empire where a large part of it was wholesaling sex toys just blew my southern-raised mind. I loved it.
SDSD said, “Ma! That’s the reason I am gay. As a teen walking into your office and seeing your desk covered with big black d**dos made me gay!” Everyone laughed except I was slack-jawed, still processing what I had just heard. We had lots of fun and hung out together a lot over the course of the cruise.
The LGBTQ+ Mixer Saw A Lot Of Bear Activity AND A Single Lesbian
“You know what? You’re f**king sexy!” said a very inebriated six-foot-something man we will call K. Dan and I had just sat down at the Martini Bar, and K slid into the seat next to mine and just started grabbing my leg.
I responded by taking his hand and holding it so it didn’t travel further up my leg, looking into his eyes, and saying, “Well, you have had an early start to the festivities… are you okay?” I asked because he seemed very wobbly. Eventually, his friends came over and helped him get back to his cabin, but we would see him off and on over the course of the cruise. Very funny and nice man… and while we got to see everything everyone had to offer at the nude beach in St. Maarten, nothing happened, and he was nothing but fun and respectful.
Why, yes, I did say we went to a nude beach. It’s the third time in my life that I have done so, and I enjoyed it.
This was the first cruise ship LGBTQ+ mixer where everyone who showed up stayed and became friends. Most of the time, there is courteous banter the first night, and everyone moves on to their own worlds. This crew was there every night at 6 p.m.
Wonderful.
We met these four bears (two couples) from Washington State who were funny as all get out. One couple had just moved to Las Vegas and before unpacking came on this cruise. Those boys could EAT! It was as if they were all getting ready for their winter hibernation. I was impressed with multiple main dishes, desserts, and invites to come back for the midnight buffet.
We also met The Lesbian. That’s how she became known to our newly formed group because while we had seen other lesbian couples, they didn’t come to the mixers and weren’t single like our new friend.
The Lesbian said, “My mom said that if I came on the cruise, I would probably run into a ‘what a small world!’ person and be absolutely surprised at how small the world really is.” Her mom was right.
I believe it was the next night, while talking to her, Dan let it drop that I had been in a documentary on Netflix. Her eyes got HUGE, “WAIT, WHAT IS THE NAME OF IT?” I said, “Pray Away.” She said “NO WAY! OMG I was at the premiere of that at the Tribeca Film festival!” Now it was my turn to go all caps, “WOW! We were there too and I was on the Q&A panel standing next to Julie!” She said OMG a few more times and mentioned a mutual friend we both love and adore. We texted him a photo right on the spot.
It IS A Small, Wonderful, Beautiful World
We stopped at Nassau, Puerta Plata, St. Thomas, and St. Maarten and ate wonderful food and lots of drinking. Plenty of beauty and relaxation all around. But it’s meeting all the people above plus Erica and her Auntie who taught me how to properly twerk that make these trips extra extra special.
I say “extra” because these trips are primarily for being with and connecting with my husband. We had some *great* quality time and lots of fun with each other and our new friends.
More about Randy…
WHY: A Memoir
Helpful resources…
