Given my previous traumatizing experiences in the ‘80s, I already have high anxiety going to the sexual health clinic (literally, that’s their whole deal). Today was very different. Before getting into that, this conversation happened when the nurse took me back to the exam room and closed the door.
“Have you been feeling down or depressed in the past few weeks?” Ms. Cute Nurse asked me.
“No, well unless you count a little tiff I had with my husband that lasted a couple of hours four days ago…”
“OH! You want to know what? My life is a constant argument with my boyfriend; the cops came over last night and everything! He doesn’t know how to shut the f*ck up. I keep telling him to… (non-stop talking for ten more minutes) …. and when the second court order did nothing… (more talking for five more minutes) … and that’s why I always sleep with other men. I don’t care if he knows.”
Then Ms. Cute Nurse just looked at me while holding my mouth swab she just took out of my mouth like I should say something. So I said, “In my humble opinion, you know you need just to kick his ass out.”
“I know! Right?! Well, hon, Mrs. Doctor will see you in just a few minutes.”
I learned about Ms. Cute Nurse’s almost ten-year history with this stalker boyfriend she couldn’t get rid of in about twenty-five minutes. My anxiety was displaced by being stunned and mystified by the novella Ms. Cute Nurse just unloaded. It would make for a good limited Netflix or HBO series.
Listen, just to be clear, the difference of opinion Dan and I had was resolved quickly and did not involve the police.
As I sat there waiting on Mrs. Doctor, I had the thought that while my anxiety was the same (about being in a sexual health clinic), the clinic was SO very different than the ones I went to back in the ‘80s. Back then, going to a place for your “sexual health” was incredibly stigmatized by everything in American culture and religion. Back then, you didn’t even use your name for the AIDS test…
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