Weird Is Where I Belong
A reflection on childhood scars, bonus parenthood, and finally feeling right in the “wrong” place.
Of Bio-Kids and Being a Bonus Dad
Every once in a while, something random clicks in your brain, and you realize, “Oh… huh. I’ve never really thought about that before.” That happened to me recently. I realized I’ve never imagined having my own biological kids. Not once. If the thought ever floated by in the past, it clearly didn’t stick long enough to mean anything.
Is that weird? Maybe? The thing is—I don’t *feel* weird about it. I feel nothing at all, really. Just total apathy. Which somehow feels like it *should* be weird, but it isn’t.
Sometimes I wonder if it’s connected to the stuff I went through as a kid. The abuse. Maybe that part of my past shut off the mental pathway that would’ve let me dream about having biological children—raising them, playing in the yard, celebrating birthdays and milestones together. I honestly don’t remember ever wanting that.
Or maybe—bear with me here—it was the Divine reshuffling my path so I could end up where I was meant to be: a Bonus Dad. We never use the word *stepfather* around here, and I like it that way. I never felt out of place or awkward about it. Which, again, feels like it should be weird—but it’s not. It just feels right.
The Personal Pronouns Check
Here’s a fun (and maybe petty) habit of mine: when I want to “clock” a narcissist, I count how many personal pronouns they use—“I,” “me,” “my”—in their posts, articles, or comments. If it’s a lot and they never reference anyone else, that’s a red flag. I know, I know—it’s super judgy. But hey, I fail that check all the time too. I’m self-aware enough to admit that I’ve got some narcissism in me.
(For the record, I’m already up to 18 personal pronouns in this post. 🤷♂️)
These days, I also side-eye anyone whose entire Instagram grid is just selfies. LOL. Maybe it’s an age thing, but I notice it so much more now—and yeah, it probably says something about me too.
That’s probably weird, right?
To Conclude…
Maybe “weird” is just another word for different, and different has been my normal all along. I may not have dreamed about biological kids, but I’ve found purpose and love in being a Bonus Dad—the kind of fatherhood that feels chosen, not assigned. And even if I sometimes overanalyze things like pronouns or people’s selfie habits, it all comes from the same place of curiosity about why we are the way we are. Maybe it’s not about what’s typical or expected but about owning what feels authentic. If that makes me weird, then weird is exactly where I belong.
More about Randy…
