Adventures In Nightstand Drawer Searching
What do two Bibles, lip plumping serum, two dead mobile phones & cables, & the "Joy Of Gay Sex" book have in common? They are all in my nightstand. It's a little messy, but they all get along...
“…if anyone has to go into my nightstand they have to sign a non-disclosure agreement and liability waiver first.”–The Other B*tch (me)
Oh The (RE)Discoveries…
Between Dan, our daughter, our nephew, and a myriad of friends, all of my charging cables magically disappeared; POOF, gone. I’m a little bitter and can’t call anyone about it.
So, the quest began.
I’m an out-of-sight, out-of-mind kind of guy. If you look at the top of my desk, it’s orderly and organized. But any drawer anywhere near my vicinity is going to be full of treasures (junk to other people). In fact, if anyone has to go into my nightstand, they have to sign a non-disclosure agreement and liability waiver first.
But after all the paperwork is complete and filed in a different drawer, what you would find is the chaos of an understood life.
My Life In A Junk Pile…
I don’t have a single junk drawer; mine are all junk drawers. If others were to go through my nightstand, I would imagine a wide variety of facial expressions, guffaws, and quizzical looks of “what the hell is that?” …AND “what is on this thumb drive?”
But this morning I was all smiles. Finding an old photo of Dan and me when we first started dating and smooching at a party. A bottle of bubbles. Why? I have no clue, but yes, some were set free after the discovery. I also found old phones that have been replaced by upgraded models but made for good memories as I remembered the wide eyes of the recipients (Dan & The Diva) when I gave them these phones.
I also found a single sock that I am sure will turn into a toy for Queen Gigi the Grey. She loves tearing up stuff.
“The Joy of Gay Sex” seems so tame now, but I remember sneaking peeks of it at a college library and holding onto it tenaciously in my mental library waaaayyy back in the day. Dan had a copy when we moved in together, and I just laughed at the full-circle moment decades later.
I haven’t cracked a Bible in years, but I do remember a time in my life when it was the only reason I held onto life. I also remember who gave it to me, and after enough time and distance to heal, I smiled. Then I placed it gently back in a different drawer than the fun stuff ;).
The Queen of Wholesale Adult Sex Toys & Meeting A Pack Of Bears And The Lesbian At The LGBTQ+ Mixer
Unashamed
At one point in my life, I would have felt so much shame over some of the more sexual items if they had been in my nightstand and would have immediately thrown all of that stuff away and not repeated the “sin.” Later, in life, I would no longer feel ashamed of those items but sad and angry at the religious stuff that made me erroneously call my sexuality a sin; while I didn’t throw the Bibles away (they have always meant something wonderful to me in other ways), I would bury them in the drawers.
Today, I noticed that nothing about my nightstand is being hidden. Everything is in a pile of everything, and I felt… of all things… peace. Peace with who I am in all my spiritual, mundane, and carnal glory. Peace with where I have been and peace to not know the future.
Turned out to be a great quest, but I never found my charging cables…
More about Randy…
WHY: A Memoir
Helpful resources…
